DennisPillion.com

Good Friday lunch thoughts

Nothing hits the spot on a meat-free Good Friday lunch than the vegan chili over at The Bottletree Cafe. Sitting at the bar, though, it was more than bean-and-cheesy goodness that assailed my senses.It was a sudden onset of generational identity crisis.

On one TV, the newscasters were talking about North Korea increasing its capacity for enrichment of nuclear materials. The flatscreen on my right was showing a DVD of The Muppets take Manhatten. And I was reading Bill Bryson's "The Lost Continent," a rambling but extremely humorous look at why the United States in 1988 (when the book was written) was so much worse than the United States was in the 1950s, when he grew up.

So I was reading about how much Bryson misses home milk delivery, hearing about Kim Jong Il inching closer to being able to destroy our planet, while watching puppets run and roller skate through Central Park.

Backwards to the Future: An ongoing saga of politics and energy (but mostly politics)

FADE IN: EXT. THE STEPS OF THE U.S. CAPITOL BUILDING REP. ROY BLUNT addresses a crowd full of eager REPORTERS who would rather regurgitate what BLUNT is doing than do any actual research or break a story.

REP. ROY BLUNT

We must vote on offshore drilling, we must vote now, we must vote yes and we must vote yesterday. Anyone who does not do these things hates America and laughs all the way back to his terrorist camp as real, average Americans sweat at the pump.

REP. JOHN BOEHNER

I agree with everything this man says, but I'm waiting for someone to be indicted in a sex scandal, as that seems to be the only time I can advance my political career.

HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI

Seriously, offshore drilling? That's what this is about? Your own people say that offshore drilling won't have any impact for 10-15 years at the earliest, and that it probably won't do much then. You can't wait five weeks for a regular session?

ROY BLUNT

No, we can't, because people are in favor of drilling now. Five weeks from now, people might figure out that the oil companies are the only ones who stand to benefit from the swill we're proposing.

NANCY PELOSI

Ha! So you admit that offshore drilling alone won't affect prices at the pump!

ROY BLUNT

Please, we admitted that months ago. Go look at YouTube for God's sake.

BARACK OBAMA enters, fresh from his Hawaiian vacation, wearing khaki shorts, sandals and six leis.